Sea Glass

Sea glass,

or river glass, if you will,

bits of broken bottles,

scattered on the gravel,

washed upon the shore,

from unknown origin,

green, pale blue,

white frosted clear,

and once in a while,

rich bright true blue,

if luck will let you find it.

Raising Jewish Kids

Since January I've been nannying for a Jewish family four afternoons a week. I'm also on a less regular schedule watching the kids in another family where the mom is Jewish. I'm spending large chunks of my week helping to raise jewish kids. But I'm not Jewish.

Outside of how it has been retold into Christian traditions I know very little about Jewish culture, traditions, and history. I don't know where the lines are between Jewish beliefs that have been morphed into Christian faith and the beliefs that are “new” with Christianity. I don't know what traditions stem from Judaism, what traditions have their roots in the early Christian church, and what traditions come from other religions.

I don't know the Jewish language or words for talking about God and faith. If I tell someone a friend of mine is probably at synagogue on Friday night I catch myself having to make a conscientious effort not to say “church” instead of “synagogue.” I've never really believed in the very Jesus centered language of some churches – I believe in worshiping God above the son of God – but I do consider myself Christian and Christianity is the faith I'm most familiar with.

When I worked in a Christian daycare I knew there were certain things I had to be careful how I talked about. I tend to be more liberal than many of my coworkers and the families we cared for there, but I knew it would be ok if the kids heard me singing a Christian song or saw me wearing a shirt from church camp and asked what it said. It wouldn't create a conflict or leave me needing to explain something I didn't know how the parents would want addressed if I mentioned Jesus or a New Testament Bible story. It probably wouldn't even evoke questions from the kids I watched.

Now I wonder how much the kids I watch know about Christianity, and how much their parents would want them to know if they ever asked me questions. I've thought about wearing a church camp shirt to work and changed my mind because I wasn't sure what I should say if the three year old asked what my shirt said. If and when the kids ask me questions about God, faith, or holidays I want to answer honestly, but I also want to answer in a way that is consistent with what they already know and aligns with what their parents want them to be learning.

I feel like I should know a lot more about Judaism than I do, just so I could know what the kids I watch are being taught about God, and what they are talking about when they mention something related to a holiday or their faith.

Happy Valentine's Day

Is it ok to be a sap and gush a little about my Valentine's date? Just because this year is the first I've officially had a Valentine's day date? Still no? Then go away, cause I feel like gushing over how sweet my weekend with my man was!

Friday night I had a family commitment, so my romantic weekend didn't start until Saturday. I waited all morning for the dance class I would see my boyfriend at, then flirted with him across the room as leads and follows were lined up on opposite sides of the room to learn their respective parts. When the leads and follows came together again we rotated partners, so every time I got to my man I gave him hugs and kisses before we fell into practicing the moves we were learning.

The dance lessons went great (we'll see how much we remember next week...), but after four hours we were both ready for a break. I walked with him to his car to see what the surprise he told me he had was - raspberry jelly filled chocolates (either he pays attention well, or I just yum over anything with raspberry and/or chocolate that much that it's obvious). Then we went out for dinner at a cool little burrito shop, before heading back to his place and calling it an early night.

Sunday I got lots of snuggles from my man, we went to Panera for lunch, ran a few errands, and watched a movie before supper. He was brave enough to let me try cooking something new, so I made us chicken marsala, which turned out amazingly well if I do say so myself. I think he was slightly scared by my cooking method - apparently not everyone automatically needs two recipes, and doesn't follow either, to make something new!

I stayed over until Monday/Valentine's Day, and he bought me breakfast at this awesome little cafe. It wasn't the kinda place you'd think of being romantic, but it was fun and really sweet. The food was good, and you could tell they knew all the regulars. I liked the feel of the place, and I liked that it wasn't like a cliche Valentine's date spot.

The only bad part of the weekend? We both had to work Monday afternoon, so we couldn't spend the rest of Valentine's day together.

Moon Song

Pale silver moon,

in a purple sky,

like a money plant seed pod,

turned into a spotlight,

on clear rich blue sky.

written 10/22/10

Newness

So apparently I've been slacking on the blog front...

I spent a large chunk of this past fall stressing over work, school, relationships, and my in ability to balance everything. I decided I needed to cut stress, so I planned to make some changes for the beginning of the new year. I also found some unexpected changes happening, which led to a whole lot of newness in my life.

Newness:

Unexpected: New Boyfriend - Ironically, or perhaps by fate, I met a really great guy the day after the guy I had been dating dumped me. He's cute, he's fun, he's silly, he's mature (well, at least in the important stuff :-p), he treats me well, he's a poet, he passes friends' approval, and is all around wonderful to have in my life.

Planned: New Job - working in the daycare center was becoming to much stress, so I decided to look for a job as a nanny and leave the daycare center. The change of pace has been just what I needed, and also left me with more time and energy for thinking and writing.

Planned by Default: No Classes - When it came time to register for spring semester classes I was running short on mental energy to plan what classes I wanted to take. I also wasn't sure what my work schedule would look like, so by default my lack of energy to plan for classes led to me not taking any classes this semester. While it's slightly disappointing that I can't do everything well all at once, I feel good about taking a break from school to settle into other new things.

Added Bonus: New Writing Time and Goals - While I'm nannying I can use the time the kids are napping for writing and such. Since I'm not taking classes I can also use the time I would have set aside for homework to do creative writing. I'm hoping this post will kick my blog back into gear (I even have some other stuff written I intend to post, I just haven't gotten around to it yet). I also have some other writing goals I'm working on, but actually getting stuff posted here again is what is relevant here.

Prayer for Healing

Dear God,

Be with her in her pain,

help her know she is not alone,

grant her the wisdom to see,

more pain of another sort

is not the solution.

Wrap your arms around her,

hold her close,

when physical distance,

prevents a hug from a friend

Be with her when I can't,

when I don't know what to say,

or she pushes me away,

or I'm just not the person she needs.

Help the world to see,

her pain is not her making,

that the scars she gives herself,

are not the reason she hurts.

Surround her with the patience,

of listening ears,

and grant them the understanding,

to know talking about pain,

is better than ignoring it,

that shushing away,

her honest words of hurt,

only leads to scars,

that run far deeper,

than the marks we wince at.

The prayer prompt from this weeks Praying Through My Pen is: Read Numbers 12:13 and "write a prayer for healing for someone specific." Rather than write about a specific person I found myself writing about a specific need for healing which many people I've talked to or heard stories of have faced (and "her" can just as much be "his").

The Dust I Know

When the dust settles,

what will be left?

Will we still remember,

the clash of sticks,

scratching at ground,

the fascinating ability,

to find the fun in anything,

or will we be wired,

inseparably tied,

to electronic beep,

and flashing light?

When the dust settles,

will we still know how,

to play in the dirt,

make mud pies,

make cookies from scratch,

and laugh at a poof of flour?

Or will we forget,

what it means to get dirty,

how to sustain ourselves,

the taste of homemade bread,

and the thrill of waiting,

as it's smell fills the house?

When my kids are grown,

will dust mean the same thing,

or will the only dust they know,

be stirred up by power,

outside of themselves,

a race car's wake,

or the danger filled cloud,

whisked up by the buzz,

of a rotary saw,

big boys toys,

to be carefully guarded?

When the dust settles,

will we still be human?

Prompt from A Writer's Book of Days: When the dust settles.