Raising Jewish Kids

Since January I've been nannying for a Jewish family four afternoons a week. I'm also on a less regular schedule watching the kids in another family where the mom is Jewish. I'm spending large chunks of my week helping to raise jewish kids. But I'm not Jewish.

Outside of how it has been retold into Christian traditions I know very little about Jewish culture, traditions, and history. I don't know where the lines are between Jewish beliefs that have been morphed into Christian faith and the beliefs that are “new” with Christianity. I don't know what traditions stem from Judaism, what traditions have their roots in the early Christian church, and what traditions come from other religions.

I don't know the Jewish language or words for talking about God and faith. If I tell someone a friend of mine is probably at synagogue on Friday night I catch myself having to make a conscientious effort not to say “church” instead of “synagogue.” I've never really believed in the very Jesus centered language of some churches – I believe in worshiping God above the son of God – but I do consider myself Christian and Christianity is the faith I'm most familiar with.

When I worked in a Christian daycare I knew there were certain things I had to be careful how I talked about. I tend to be more liberal than many of my coworkers and the families we cared for there, but I knew it would be ok if the kids heard me singing a Christian song or saw me wearing a shirt from church camp and asked what it said. It wouldn't create a conflict or leave me needing to explain something I didn't know how the parents would want addressed if I mentioned Jesus or a New Testament Bible story. It probably wouldn't even evoke questions from the kids I watched.

Now I wonder how much the kids I watch know about Christianity, and how much their parents would want them to know if they ever asked me questions. I've thought about wearing a church camp shirt to work and changed my mind because I wasn't sure what I should say if the three year old asked what my shirt said. If and when the kids ask me questions about God, faith, or holidays I want to answer honestly, but I also want to answer in a way that is consistent with what they already know and aligns with what their parents want them to be learning.

I feel like I should know a lot more about Judaism than I do, just so I could know what the kids I watch are being taught about God, and what they are talking about when they mention something related to a holiday or their faith.

Who told you that?

That's an electric fence,
to shock you if,
you try to break in.

Who told you that?

It's true,
they turn it on at night,
and then,
it shocks people.

Who told you that?

My mom.
A child's eyes declare,
it must be true,
My mom said so.

It's not,
but how can I say,
Mom lied to you?

Excerpts from "My third Grade Journal"

While cleaning out our old school/craft/storage/everything room earlier we pulled out a box of workbooks and school notebooks my brother and sister and I used. I flipped through a few of the books looking at the work I did and thinking back to when I was in school. We were discussing getting rid of the used workbooks when my mom handed me a small notebook "You might want to keep this."

Wondering what it was, I took the notebook and opened the cover to see "My third Grade Journal" and my name written neatly in my best cursive. I couldn't have even told you that I had a journal in third grade, but it's neat to look back and remember the things I was doing.

In honor of the nostalgia I'm posting a few excerpts, complete with horrible spelling.


First entry:

Tuesday, September 3, 199*
This week I started school and ballet. Miss Becky is my ballet teacher again this year and, I remember most of the girls from last year. My school work is fun. I like science the best but phonics is to easy.


When Nana helped me make a quilt for my baby doll:

Wednesday, October 30, 199*
This week I made a quilt for Joy. I picked 7 different faberics. Next I cut the faberics into 3 1/2 inch squares. Then I sewed them together on my Nana's machine. Next I cut batting and backing. then I sewed the top, batting and backing together. Then I used heavy thread and made 9 knots.


When I was going to Nana's to make a quilt for my sister's doll:

Friday January 3, 199*
I'm going to Nana's house for the weekend. I am excited. me and Nana are going to sew a quilt for Emme. I thingk I'll have fun whith Nana.


Trying to sail (probably without wind):

Mach Friday 28, 199*
Today we trid to go sailing ,but we didn't, we just moddered around. I sawl a person capsised. I was in the lookout touer most of the time!!


Going on a field trip:

May Fryday 30, 199*
Today we when to fish lift. I thoght I knew how it worked but how it workes is totelly different from how I iccepted. My faverit thing was whaching fish zoom by! Nekst stop greek food festavil where we piked-up 3 gyros, 2 dissert sippers + 1 laghe sald. When we got home the kids chached into swim-suits to have some water fun!


* Year removed because I don't want to publish how old I am online.

Striking up a Dialogue

The past couple of months I've been working on a writing project. A few weeks ago I sent an early draft of it to a writing buddy, and when she sent it back to me nearly every place there were people she said "Again, I want to see actual dialogue here."

After the initial frustration of wondering what was wrong with my dialogue, and reading a few examples of what dialogue should look like, I set to work rewriting every snippet of conversation into "actual" dialogue. It was frustrating as hell to rewrite all my dialogue. Complaining to my writing buddy about what a pain it is to write dialogue, I stared at the same paragraphs until I couldn't see straight trying to turn them into something my writing buddy wouldn't give me grief about.

I complained a lot, and gave my writing buddy a good deal of grief for essentially telling me my dialogue wasn't real. I think I even told her I hated writing dialogue, but in the end I was glad she pushed me. Somewhere between being ready to cry in frustration over lousy dialogue, and sending my writing buddy a new draft with updated dialogue, I saw my story coming together like I've never seen my own writing coming together before.

I've never really tried to write dialogue before. I've never really tried to write anything before. I've written things, for school or just because, and been proud of some of the things I've written, but I've never had to work this hard or try so much to write something and not given up on it. In the past if something was really truly challenging to write, or if someone pointed out flaws in my writing, I was quick to decide whatever I was writing was just crap anyway.

With lots of encouragement from a few writing buddies, I challenged myself to write more than ever, and then pushed myself to make it even better. There were moments I didn't know how I could make it through the frustrations of rewriting, but the result was incredible. I still can't believe how much a little rearranging and working on the dialogue pulled my project together.

After working so hard it's amazing to see this coming together. It's wonderful to see the result of the work I put into this, and as much as I might have complained about it, I'm so grateful for friends who push me, and glad I've taken on this challenge.